Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
