I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
