I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize