shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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