sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
