i jhust puked up my retainher.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
