Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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