I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
