yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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