I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
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This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
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I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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