cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
