what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
