Bisexual people are plain selfish.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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