Im at strip club and am horny
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
