eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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