I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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