No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize