Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?