I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
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I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
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If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.