I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
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