Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
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My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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