I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
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Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
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If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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