PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
