i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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