guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
