he thought i was a dude.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
