your room smells of hookers.
And success
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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