I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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