I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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