you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
