i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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