I'm jealous of your bromance
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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