My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
There's always time for handjobs
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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