he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
This is my gift to your gina
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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