whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
