One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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