it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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