Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
