becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
