there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize