i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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