I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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