Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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