I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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