What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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