Define "chronic" masturbator.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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