we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize