Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
