btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
