wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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