I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
