she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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