The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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