im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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