I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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