Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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