If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
