so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
