i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
